Friday was "Day of Hope."
I wouldn't say it's a day I celebrate, but rather observe.
The ironic thing is that August 19th was my original due date for our last baby.
Friday was a little depressing, needless to say.
We have had two miscarriages and this website has really helped me heal and deal.
I do not know what our future holds, but I am choosing to believe that God will bless us with living children in His time.
Losing babies in the meantime does not make it easy to believe that truth, but at least I know that I can get pregnant.
Sometimes I can't help but think about our babies.
I wonder what they would have looked like, if they were boys or girls or one of each, and what their personalities would be like.
While I wonder those things, I also know that they are alive and healthy and beautiful in Heaven.
I believe Jesus meets their every need and I feel certain I'll know exactly who my babies are when I get to Heaven someday.
And if you've suffered the loss of a baby or child, I believe you, too, will know yours as well.
Scripture (James 1:17) says that, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
Truthfully, our babies and our children are not really ours.
Our heavenly Father has been generous enough to trust us with such a good and perfect gift as a child.
So, why is it so hard to trust Him when/if He chooses to take that baby/child away?
It's hard. It hurts. But, I am trusting He has a better plan.
And if I had to choose someone to take my baby/child, it would most certainly be our heavenly Father.
I am so sorry to anyone else who has experienced the loss of a baby or child. In the womb or out.
I only know the pain of losing a baby in the womb, and the pain was so deep and so intense that I could literally feel my babies being ripped apart from my insides.
I cannot imagine having a baby or child ripped from my arms.
I hurt for each one of you, and I pray that you may get your little bundle of joy safe and sound in your arms someday. I also pray that God would heal you from the inside out and use the loss to build your faith in Him.
I love that God answered Hannah's prayer in 1 Samuel 1:20: "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
May He grant you what you ask of Him, too.