1.11.2011

No Appointment Today...

I can't believe it's already been a month since this happened and I can not thank those of you who prayed, called, emailed, sent cards, etc. enough. Each of you are so incredibly precious to me. Today was a my scheduled Dr's. appointment, but because of all the snow and ice in Athens, Georgia, their office is closed and I wouldn't be making the drive anyway. So, hopefully I can get another appointment scheduled for next month. Ughh. Waiting. Patiently waiting. I started cramping yesterday morning and I've had more cramping this morning, so maybe that is a good sign that things getting back to normal.On New Year's Day I prayed a prayer that I have been wanting to pray for a long time, but am ashamed to say that I was afraid to, or if I'm being honest with myself, I was afraid of what God would do. Please tell me you have been there, too, dear friends. What it all truly means is that deep down we just really aren't sure if we are ready for what God is ready for us to do, and that causes us to avoid the subject of complete submissiveness and to hold onto the reins of our own lives. As Christians, we should know better. I should know better. I can't allow God to control only certain aspects of my life. No, I must relinquish control on every. single. aspect. of my life. So, in this prayer I asked God to show me what He wants for me this year. To move within me and make His desires for my life known to me, especially in the area of starting a family. I have not had a peace about this area yet, and I am just so ready to be at peace. At a place where if I were to have a baby I would be nothing less than completely thrilled about it. And if it's not the right time that I would have a peace about that as well. I admit that I have not been ready or excited about the idea if it were to have happened and I believe it is because our society tells us that you should "wait until you're 30, etc." I am so ashamed of this, but I am fully ready to be at peace no matter what the Lord chooses for my life. I am going to be at peace with or without little ones in my life and I am turning everything over to Him and be joyful about the outcome regardless of what it is, even though deep down I long to be a mama someday."Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

21 comments:

  1. I hope that you are able to come to terms with whatever the next step is for you and your family, and you are right, either way it goes, it is God's work and it was meant to be! I hope you feel better soon and that you get some answers.

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  2. Thank you for posting this -- I needed it as well. God will make his reasons and plans known for you and your life. Keep your head up hun!

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  3. I can't imagine how difficult all this is for you! But I do know how difficult it is to trust God with everything even when it shouldn't be!

    I'll praying be for you!

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  4. What a great blog and a beautiful prayer. I appreciate you posting it--it gives me strength to know that others struggle in letting go of control and praying for God's direction in their lives as well at times! I'll be praying for you as well!

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  5. I have been praying for you a lot lately, Cherish! You have been on my heart! It can be SO hard to give God total control of our lives, but we must in order to receive His blessings and follow His will. I'm proud of you for your prayer! Keep trusting in Him!

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  6. Praying for you lady!!!! :) let me know if i can do anything! Once my area isn't an ice skating rink with snow i'll be putting something in the mail for you!

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  7. Hey girl, its been quite a long time. Just wanted to tell you I read your blog. I am so sorry you are going through that. I can't imagine that experience neither physically nor emotionally. At least you can take solace in your faith and knowledge that God will see you through all of life's toughest storms.

    I wanted to yell you how much I admire your faith. If is very inspiring to read. I have drifted a little farther from God than I care to admit and am daily trying to pray and seek His will for my life so that I can raise my son in His light. I find your blog very encouraging and inspiring.... And I'm not going to lie it makes me a little jealous, lol. I hope that you and Brandon heal and continue to do great things for God.

    Gretchen

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  8. Cherish, I had no idea what you've been going through. Please know that I'm praying for you, and I know the Lord isn't frustrated! He knows our end from our beginning. Lots of love, Rachel H. xxx

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  9. "Cherish, you know that I know how you feel. I'm 35 years old and I have the same thoughts-am I supposed to be a mother, is that what God wants for my life, if it isn't what He wants, then what is it, why has he saved me from a terrible disease?? I could go on, but just know you are not alone. And, it doesn't matter about your age, you can't help the feelings and desires that you have. Luckily, you do still have a lot of time. However, that doesn't make the present any easier. I've learned that it's not our timing, but God's timing. Being patient is HARD! However, as Christians we have to trust that God knows what is best. I pray that same prayer-for God to show me, tell me, knock me over the head with what it is he wants for my life. If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for you! Love you.

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  10. You are so beautiful inside and out. This is an amazing post, and you can tell your faith in this post! I dont really know how hard all of this has been for you! God has given me the knowing tale of never physically having a baby; but having to go through what you are going through Id be so upset even in my strong faith. You have an amazing support system, and The Lord has great plans for you! He will amaze you when you least expect it, and I cant wait to share in it with you! I am here for you, and praying for you each and every day.. I am waiting for the day we meet! <3 Olivia!

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  11. Cherish! I just teared up reading this! Altough I am so sad about what happened, I am so overcome with joy about your prayer. I'm with you on that--why is it so hard for us to give up total control when it always, always so much better? I can't wait to see what God has planned our for your life. It's always so much better than our own plans--and that's soo reassuring!! (Prov 3:5-6)

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  12. I'll be thinking about you tonight. I admire your honesty. Just the past 2 days I have struggling with wanting to be in control when I know there is One who has perfect plans for me. Praying for you, sweet lady. I know that you will make a beautiful Mama one day!

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  13. Hey Cherish I read your blog...I had no idea that you were having such a hard time with that..I am soo sorry I will keep you in my prayers..Hunny I know where you are coming from..I always just thought when you started trying to start a family it would be so easy..but after trying for 3 yrs and I was proven very wrong at the beginning of last year...When I was told I had a very very small chance of getting pregnant..At that point I knew God's plan was for us to adopt and bring a child into our home that may not have had the care love that it would deserve..We are still waiting for the right baby..but in God's time it will happen..I will keep you in my prayers..I know how hard it is to swallow that you may not ever have any children of your own..But I will love the baby we adopt as much as if I had gave birth to her/him..Love ya girl...If you need to talk I am here for you!!! :)

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  14. You sound so yielded to the Lord; I know He has a plan for your life, and I'm sure it includes children. He will show you how this is all going to take place...be patient...wait on the Lord. Cherish, you are going to be a wonderful mom some day. You and Brandon are very wise for you not to go out and get a job. Stay at home and be ready for when God blesses ya'll with a child.
    I am going to be praying for the Lord's will in your life and for the gift of children . Love you, Lynn

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  15. I just teared up while I was reading this! This post touched me so much, because I have been trying to not question the Lord's plan for me during some recent difficult times, so this is exactly what I needed to hear. I don't know the Lord's plan for you, but I know that you will be the most amazing mom one day! I'll be praying for you!

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  16. Gorgeous pictures Cherish!

    Funny you blog about this today, I was just talking about something similar to my mom yesterday.
    It is soooo hard to let go of the reigns and let the Lord take over, but I also pray for the Lord to give me the knowledge and stronger faith to see what He is doing in my life, so I don't feel lost.
    I was talking to Mom about how sometimes, we go through very rough and hurtful times, feeling like we deserve better. I was telling her how I feel like the Lord uses us as tools- we may wonder why these things are happening to us, but all the while, we are unknowingly inspiring others to be stronger, helping them to keep going because they see that others have made it through similar situations.
    I'm so glad your faith is in the right place, and glad to call you a friend :)

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  17. I am so sorry about what you are going through. I had a dear friend go through the same thing last year and now she is pregnant with twins! It will happen! Thinking of you.

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  18. Cherish, I had no idea what has been going on. I am thinking about you and praying for you. If you need anything I am here for you!

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  19. Just found your blog - You are obviously such a beautiful person inside and out! Excited to start following your story!

    PS - The Glory of it All is one of my favorite songs!

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  20. Stopping by to say `Hi`
    My GYN is in Athens, Georgia also.
    However I'm at the other end of the spectrum.
    He lovingly told me I am going through menopause so my child-bearing years are over.

    We sure had a lot of snow, didn't we?
    Now it's not as pretty so I'm ready for it to be gone.
    Some roads are still icy, so be safe.

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  21. I'm praying that everything works out for the best. Pregnancy is such an emotional and hard topic to talk about as a woman. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. xoxo

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