12.16.2010

"There is a time for everything...

and a season for every activity under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3:1 I have debated on whether or not to share this information with y'all, and I ultimately decided that I consider each one of my "followers" not necessarily followers, but friends. I love my friends and readers so dearly and I feel as if even though many of us have never met we truly are kindred spirits. We share so much of ourselves and our lives on our blogs. We rejoice with one another, we hurt for one another, and best of all we pray for one another. So, that being said, I feel like it would be unfair to our friendship if I weren't honest with each of you about what is really going on. I could get on here and just say, "We have had so much going on and we've been really busy-that's why I haven't blogged in over a week..." While there is truth to that, that's not what true friends say, now is it? After all, there is "a time to be silent and a time to speak..."So, the truth is that I have been experiencing a very painful miscarriage over the past 4 days. Painful physically, mentally and emotionally. Painfully unexpected. One of the hardest things about it is that this is not my first miscarriage. I had my first one exactly 2 years and one month ago to the day. We were not "trying" for a baby on either occasion; however, that does not diminish the pain of the experience. We have always felt that God would give us a baby in His time, though we had planned on waiting at least another year before really trying to get pregnant. I have never spoken publicly about this, but there is a time for everything, I suppose. I'll be 25 in January, so I just feel so young to have already had 2 miscarriages. I am trying desperately not to let my mind wander about my body's ability to carry a child. I am very healthy. I had to adjust my diet at the age of 16 due to my primary dysmenorrhea anyway. I don't drink caffeine or alcohol. I've never smoked or done any kind of drug at all. I do not take any prescription drugs. I eat a mainly all natural diet. I exercise. It's just so hard to know what is going on. Should we start trying now as it may take a while, or should we wait as we had originally planned? Who knows. I have always wanted to be a mama more than anything and I have been praying for years for my unborn children, even by their names. I have hope chests full of baby clothes patiently waiting to be worn. I have never imagined living a life without little ones. But, what if I can't? Well, I know that what I can't do is allow myself to go over the what-ifs. It will eat me alive. We are just going to keep praying and choose to believe and have faith that God will allow us to have our own babies. We just have to be patient in knowing that His timing is perfect, His will is perfect, and that He is good. "There is a time for everything..." {I took this photo in Athens one year and it just moves me beyond words} I am on bed rest today and tomorrow and if I feel really bad all of the sudden then I will need to go to the hospital. Goodness gracious. We are totally aware that things could be so much worse on so many levels. We hurt and pray for those who are dealing with much worse fertility issues. Please keep us in your prayers as we deal with this and for me as my body continues to heal. Thank you so much in advance. I love each and every one of you so, friends.

23 comments:

  1. Cherish-
    I nearly cried when I read this post. Many prayers for you during this time, I know it can't be easy. I'm so glad you decided to share this with your blog friends and allow us to pray specifically for this. My heart goes out to you and your husband during this time- I hope you get to feeling better soon.
    Much love, Caitlin

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  2. wow -- I can't imagine having to face this at such a young age. I don't have words to share but you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. I hope you get to feeling better soon and I pray that you sharing this with us can help with the emotional healing

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  4. Cherish-
    I wanted to let you know that one of my best friends is going through the same thing right now and it really is heartbraking but you just have to remember that everything happens for a reason and that it is all a part of God's ultimate plan. I will continue to pray for you and Brandon. My best words for you are, "DON'T GIVE UP!"

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  5. I am sooo sorry that you are going through this. I hope you feel better soon. I emailed you as well.
    Praying for you!

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  6. Hey, sweet girl. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. The pain of a miscarriage is very real and it can be difficult to travel through. I am praying for you and Brandon. Try not to let your mind wander to the unknown; let it instead wander to what we do know...and that is the TRUTH that God is in control. I have a beautiful 4 year old who is proof of that! Love to you.

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  7. I am saying a prayer for you and your husband now. That's such a sad thing to go through. But what gives hope is knowing that it is all part of God's plan. Let me know if you need anything!

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  8. I am so sorry you and your husband are dealing with such heartbreak. I'll say a prayer for the both of you. Hold on to that hope. Sometimes, it's all we can do.

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  9. Reading this almost made me cry. I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this. I can't even imagine the pain you're feeling. I will be praying for you and your husband. xoxo

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  10. Oh sweet friend my heart breaks for u! I have tears in my eyes not just for your pain but also because of the obvious way your faith is being built! You are truly a witness for our Father and he will be faithful to comfort and strngthen you during this time! I'm praying for u & brandon!
    As for God his way is perfect, the Word of the Lord is flawless. -Psalm 18:30

    Keep trusting sweetie! He will never lead u through something that He Himself will not give u the strength to overcome!

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  11. I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this. My heart goes out to you. You both are in my thoughts and prayers!

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  12. Oh gosh girl...I hate to hear this! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

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  13. Hey Cherish,
    I've been thinking about you guys all evening. My thoughts and prayers are with you - I wish I could be too. We love you so much. Let me know how I can help.

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  14. After I read your new blog I cried... having life grow inside you is an emotional experience. I hurt for you, I can't say I have any clue what it feels like. It would have to be a hard thing to deal with. I just want you to know I'm praying for a quick physical healing. I had to take 2 rounds of fertility meds due to my PCOS.. fertility problems are emotional to have to endure I do know there are hormones you can be put on to aid in carrying a baby... You will be a wonderful mom when the time is right. love u!

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  15. I am really sorry for your lost my God does not a plan for you when the time is right! I will keep you in my prayers

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  16. Oh Cherish, my heart sank when I read what you're going through. I don't know how you feel firsthand, but I can only imagine how painful this must be for you and Brandon. I actually thought of you the other day and wondered how you were doing- I will be praying for you all! Love you girl!

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  17. I read your guest post from LivKit's blog and it was beautiful. I'm a new follower to your blog.

    My heart breaks for you right now. I'm praying for you.

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  18. Cherish, I hate that I have been so far removed from my online life that I have read this so much later. I feel absolutely heartbroken for you. I know this is such a hard thing to understand and to go through. My love and prayers are with you as you face this difficult time, especially around the holidays.

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  19. Cherish,

    It has been so long since I have seen, or spoken with you or Brandon. Somehow I stumbled upon your blog and your writing was so intriguing that I couldn't stop reading. I always loved your family and it was nice to catch up on everything!!! However, when I read this I, like most people, had tears in my eyes. I cannot imagine what that is like!!!! I know that it has been a few weeks, but please know that I am sincerely praying for yall! Keep the faith and know that you are never alone.

    Love,
    Shayla Watson

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  20. I want you to know how sorry I am that you are going through this (again). I can't imagine and I agree, it doesnt matter that you guys were not trying to get pregnant, it still happened and you would of been happy to have the little miracle so I can't imagine all of the emotions you have felt. I have had several friends that miscarried. were you far along? the only reason I ask is because if it keeps happening early it could be something hormonal from what I have heard. My other girlfriends miscarried at 6 weeks and one at 11 weeks which was really hard. both have gone on to have beautiful baby girls! I know God will bless your family when the time is right. Maybe he's waiting for you to get settled into a new town since you guys are moving so that you will be all ready for the new bundle of joy. Either way I think its amazing that you shared this on your blog. People will be moved by you and I am sure there are lots of people who can relate. I will pray for you and for Brandon that you will not get discouraged and that God will bless you both. We love yall and are here for you if you need anything! I was going to send a letter but Im not sure when you are moving. Do you need anything? Again Im so sorry you are going through this. I hope the pain (physical) has subsided and that you are in better spirits now.

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  21. I've been meaning to send you an email ever since I read the blog, and I've just been putting it off because I could never find the right words. Cherish, I cannot even begin to know what you're feeling right now after having gone through two miscarriages, but I want you to know that I'm praying deeply and heartfully for you. I know how devastated you must be, but I pray that you'll find comfort knowing that God knows exactly who your future little boy or girl is, and He's waiting for His perfect timing to introduce you. Please let me know if there is ever anything that you need, even if it's just an ear to listen. I had such a great time talking with you at the wedding, and would love to stay in touch more! Again, please know that prayers are coming your way.

    "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5

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  22. I don't know if you will get this message being that it is so many years after your post. I just discovered your blog tonight. I just celebrated my 7th anniversary on June 15th, 2013. One month earlier, on May 3, 2013 we welcomed our very first child together. We tried to have a baby for 6 years, had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy. They were the hardest 6 years but I learned to have patience, faith, and hope. I knew the Lord was with me each moment and his timing wasn't mine. My daughter is an absolute miracle and angle. I do not regret one single moment now that I can look into her eyes, hold and kiss her. Do not give up and do not stop believing. It will happen for you and it will be amazing and completely worth every moment and every tear!

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